You know how sometimes, you just want to lie down in the dirt, and pretend there is no such thing as life?

I know I am sick, I feel broken, but I am slowly finding each day harder to bounce back from. My body is continually pumped full of various medications, and any time I seem to be having a good run of things, something comes and slaps me down.. My mum has breast cancer, my dad has no job and never leaves the house.. My depression is slowly killing me, and through it all, I just don't care anymore. I want to live, I want to love myself and every day I have, but most days, I hate myself. About the only thing that I look forward to is spending time with my love. He makes me happy when I'm sad, laugh when it seems like there is nothing to even smile about.

It's my birthday on monday, and it will be good to see everyone.. I just don't want to be alone. I know I am never really alone, but I miss my love, when I'm at work, at my house.. I wish you were here..

I guess the day will get better, they can't keep me down forever.. I want my happiness, and I won't let the world stop me.. I want to fight..